So, I was on call this past Thursday night (Editors note: This happened May 20th, not last Thursday) when my car decided that it had had enough. It decided that it was comfortable in its "place of park" and refused to move. I arrived to see my last patient of the night and returned to my car at about 11:15 pm. Deciding that I would finish all my charting on the computer before driving home, I plugged in and started tapping away on all my patients. About 45 minutes in, all the lights in my car gave a sudden surge and then dimmed. It was enough for me to think "What the heck just happened?" Now, usually when I work on the computer in my car, the car is running because I am doing clean up work on whatever chart is up. Tonight, I had major notes to write because I had been going from one patient to the next without taking time to chart.
Anyway, I reached for the keys and tried to turn over the ignition. That awful sound of "clicktey click" and then nothing. What the heck had I done? That sound reminded me of starters going bad, but my first thought was that I had killed the battery because I had not had the car running while I had the computer running. NOT good.....it's midnight, and I'm not done charting either...OK, so what do I notice? Well, because I have been up 19 hours, the light of intelligence was dim. There was something going on in the car that was just not congruent with what I thought was the matter. Let's see, battery dead....battery dead....battery dead..... but something else was telling me differently. Finally it dawned on me! There were still dim lights on in the car! The clock light was on, when I opened the door the interior light came on, and the headlights were automatic when I tried to start the car......sooooooo what exactly does that mean??? Focus girl, you can figures this out!! Oh yeah, the battery must not be dead, or at least must not be all the way dead. Did I mention that I had rolled down my electric windows cause it was a beautiful night and the car was stuffy? Yeah, well, they wouldn't go up now. No sweat! I will sit here and wait for the battery to recharge.....Can I do that??? Don't I remember that if you give it a chance it will beef up again, or recharge from the alternator, or have a magic wire infuse it with juice or something? I will just sit tight. I am in a lighted parking lot, it is 12:15 am, and as long as I don't get a call, I will be alright. OK.....waiting.....waiting....waiting.... Have I ever mentioned that I have the patience of an ant? Let me try this again. Turn the ignition and HEY!!! it didn't clickity click .......it actually gave a little chug......before it died again with no sound at all. OK, OK, I will give it a LOT of time to do whatever it is it does to juice up again. I'll give it an HOUR...that ought to do it. Waiting......waiting......waiting......maybe 5 minutes will do it. Smaller chug to nothingness....OK. Someone is coming out of the facility....
Me: "Do you have jumper cables?" I ask.
Them: "Is your car not starting?"
Me: In thought: "No, I just really need to know if you have jumper cables, I'm taking a survey for Auto Digest."
Me: "Yeah, I think I need a jump."
Them: "Sorry, I don't have any, you may want to check inside to see if anyone may have some."
Me: In thought: "Go to ...."
Me: "OK, thank you , I will do that, have a good night."
No need for me to go inside...........If I am patient, this car will start....... 12:30, 12:40.......AGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Somebody SHOOT me! I don't want to call my husband. I am 25 miles away and it's early in the morning, and he is usually fast asleep by 10:00.......I call him anyway.
Me: "The car is dead."
Him: " Oh boy, you want me come and get you?"
Me: "No, no, I am going to go inside and see if anyone has some jumper cables." Translation; "Please come and get me, I'm tired and I want to go home. Car stuff is your thing...I just drive."
SOOOOOOO I go back into the facility...... mind you, I left the patient an hour and half ago and the shift has changed....
Me: "Can I get in, please?"
Them: "Why do you need to get in?"
Me: " I was just in seeing a patient and my car died and now I need to ask if anyone has jumper cables." Translation: Let me in or I will tear your head off your shoulders, I am just that grouchy....
Them: " I don't think anyone has any jumper cables. We don't usually let anyone in at this time of night. I don't remember you seeing any patient."
Me: In thought: "Go to ....!!"
Me: " I know, I have been out here for awhile. Can I just go through to security and ask if they have any cables?"
Them: "SIIIGGGHHH...I guess so."
Me: In thought: "Go To .... Now"
Me: "Thank you so much, I appreciate it!"
So I walk from the nursing home side allllllll the way to the assisted living side to the one lone security guard that has a walkie talkie.
Me: "Excuse me, can you tell me if there may be any jumper cables available anywhere on the site?"
Him: "Jumper Cables??"
Me: In Thought: "Why is this so freaking hard to understand???"
Me: "Yes, my car has died and I was wondering if you had any jumper cables." Which now that I think back, makes me think even if they had had them, who would have given me a jump? Certainly none on these guys!!!
Him: "Well, let me see if anyone knows."
He then proceeds to use his walkie talkie to page ONE guy........
Him: "Hey, Joe (or whatever his name was), do we have any jumper cables?"
Joe: "Jumper cables??"
Me: WAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
Him: "Yeah"
Joe: "I don't think so."
Him: "Sorry, we don't have any jumper cables."
Did I mention that both these guys had that cool Nigerian accent?? I don't think either one of them knew what jumper cables were......
So I walk allllllll the way back to the nursing home side.
Woman Who Didn't Want To Let Me In: "Did they have any?"
Me: In thought: "Bite Me!"
Me: " No, I'm afraid not."
Woman Who Didn't Want To Let Me In: "I didn't think so."
Me: Just keep walking or they will haul you away for murder......
So now it's after 1:00 in the morning and I call back husband, who had actually stayed up and had been waiting for me to come home before the first call.
Me: "Well, no one has any jumper cables."
Him: "You want me to come and get you?"
Me:"Well...."
Him: "Or do you want to call AAA?"
Me: ???????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why did I totally forget that I had AAA???? And WHY did husband let me go on a cable chase??? For crying out loud, let me call AAA.
So, since I couldn't find my AAA card, I wrote down the number, (which you really don't need, all you gotta do is give them your name.) and made the call.
Within 30 minutes, My Hero had arrived. He wanted me to put the car in neutral so he could push it back , but my car won't come out of park because you have to step on the brake to move it out of park, and the brakes are power brakes and with no power it doesn't engage, and.....well suffice it to say it stayed where it was. Thankfully the person that came out of the facility way back a long time ago when I first asked for jumper cables, had vacated the spot next to my car and My Hero's big truck just fit into the space to reach me. It took a few minutes, but it did start.
My Hero told me that the battery needed to be replaced.........Really??? Well now, I must look into that......
So, with my engine running, My Hero took off. I sat there just wanting the electrical juice to infuse to a steady state before I left. I put the car in reverse, backed up 6 feet, and it started sputtering and coughing like an 80 year old with bronchitis. Every time I eased off the gas, it would give a violent leap and cough.....definitely a death rattle.........My Hero was now a Big Fat Jerk for leaving me there without making sure that I could drive that car.....And I gave him 10 bucks!
I attempted to pull back into the safety of the parking spot, but to no avail......My 2000 hunter green Buick Regal, gave a shudder, a spit, and went peacefully to the Other Side....
I call back husband........
Me: "The car is dead."
Him: "What happened?"
Me: "Big Fat Jerk jumped car, car started, Big Fat Jerk left, car died"
Him: "I'll come and get you."
Me:" I'll be here."
So here I sit in the middle of the drive space at about 2 in the morning, waiting for husband to come and get me. At one point a car pulls AROUND me and flips his lights, as if I am sitting there on purpose....well, I am sitting there on purpose, but you know what I mean...he didn't even stop......Course, it could have been the sight of a wild-haired crazy-eyed blond, with smudges of 22 hour-old make up smeared across her face that scared the bejeebies out of him as the lights crossed my countenance that made him continue on without stopping......
So husband comes, sees the car in the middle of the road and says we can't leave the car there. Solution??? We need to call AAA again. Now it's about 2:30 in the morning. Another call to AAA brings My Hero #2 out to the facility with a flat bed. I'm sitting in husbands truck...I don't care if I ever see the car again.......I just want to go home. Hero # 2 follows us home with the car. Another 10 bucks to Hero# 2. Now it's 3:30 in the morning, I have been up for 23 hours, (no problem, I am good for 36, I just talk funny.)
So how do I end this? Just saying "I went to bed." seems anticlimactic. Oh! I know! I will tell you what the mechanic said when husband took it in for repair....
Along with its other ailments, a tie rod that was almost shot was ready to break and could have sent me, as the mechanic put it, "out of control into a crash and a fiery death." After putting this on FaceBook, this comment was made:
"Cool! Given the choice, I'd rather have words like "out of control" and "fiery death" in my obituary than "injuries related to rolling off the couch while watching TV."
I love that perspective!!!
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