I just can't believe what this week has been. I guess the best word to describe it would be frustrating........incredibly frustrating........ just really, really frustrating.......Did I say I have been feeling frustrated??
Work has not been a happy place for me as of late, suffice it to say that I feel incompetant, lost, out of my league, old, useless, and dare I say it?.......frustrated. However, work situation aside, it's the little things that have made me so angry that it takes every ounce of control I have not to expolde into a million pieces.
Lets' start with Tuesday night, I came home and went straight upstairs, no side trip anywhere, straight upstairs and dropped off my stuff in the office, I didn't talk, I just started cleaning my bedroom because I had had another bad day. Wednesday morning trying to leave for work, I could NOT find my car keys or my badge. As my mother used to say, "Stuff just doesn't sprout legs and walk away!" Well, I think this time the impossible happened.........Somewhere there is a set of keys walking around on primordial legs.
Wednesday..............As I am driving to work with borrowed keys and no badge, I notice that it sounds like a window is down somewhere in the car, but pressing all of the close window buttons produces no change. I then think that maybe my door is ajar, so I open and close the door while I am driving...No change. I then see that my driver side window is open just a sliver. Press the close window...no change... push up with my free hand, no change..roll down a bit and try to roll up, now it's stuck open even further. OK, nothing I can do until I get to work. I pull up in front of the visitor's entry and go in to get a temporary ID and I get scolded by the security people becuse I have not as yet gotten a new badge that has been required for about a year now. When I come back to the car, I try to lift the window up into place while pushing the up button which immediately let's the window fall into the door with no hope of ever seeing it rise again. Now I am driving with the window down all of the way....sigh.....It's not even 7:00 a.m.
I have a hair appointment during my lunch break. I haven't had my hair done since before Christmas, and it is looking.......well, it's not looking so good.... When I arrive at the salon, I do not see my hairdresser, David. He is always on time and usually early when he works. As my appointment time comes and then slips by, I am approached by Erin at the shop telling me that the salon made an error and that David is not in today.........sigh........
Wednesday night.........I will be out of the office on Thursday and I need to work on a project plan that is due Friday. I work until 2am and then get up at 6:00 to catch the 7:24 train to Philadelphia. The project plan still needs last minute work...........
Thursday.............I am tired, and the last words my dear, sweet husband say to me as I leave are "It's going to be warm day today, don't forget your jacket when you come home." My leather jacket.............my really nice leather jacket...............that I got for Christmas............the leather jacket that looks really good....................As I board the train to come home, I realize that I am not wearing my leather jacket............
Friday..............I can't find the my IPod.......I had it on the train last night..........I have a box of Easter goodies for my grandsons in Indiana that have been ready for boxing and mailing for over a week. I never get anything to those boys on time. I was ready this time..........except I didn't mail them. OK, I will take them to work and have them sent overnight. I walk down to the mailing center , but I don't know the zipcode for Kokomo, and the mailing center does not take debit cards for payment. I leave the box there and go to the ATM that I always use at work around the corner and it is out of order............I now must find another ATM on this massive campus....I walk over the pedestrian bridge and down 2 floors and decide that I will not need more than $20.00 to send this package; (we get a discount on fed-ex)....... Back to the maling center, and the cost for a Saturday delivery is $26.09.......sigh.........I had a one-dollar bill in my wallet over the 20 that I got out of the ATM. So, I give her $5.09 in change............(I think the sigh came from the mail center on this one).
OK, I am not too sure what else will happen today or this weekend. My keys are still missing. my IPod is still missing, my leather jacket may still be in Philadelphia, BUT, as I am writing this sad tale, I realize that I have left out some little things................You know, those little things that count.
Here goes.........I may feel old and useless, but my family loves me.......just the way I am.....with all my faults, with all my sorted frustrations and anger. They know me, and they still love me. I would say that is worth something..............
I did find my badge! (After I finally got into the office that morning.) It was in the suitcase of a purse I carry around and I will make arrangements to get a new badge made.............. Who wants a 10 year old picture on their ID anyway?? No matter how much younger I looked, it's still out of date.......
The rain we had been having for several days was over when the window broke. The inside of my car stayed dry! Also, Wayne fixed the window in the car. Because I had to work in Philly on Thursday, I took the train, and he was able to get it fixed for me. He did it himself, which saved money!
The hair salon was so nice to me after they made the scheduling mistake; they are always nice, but they felt terrible. That's why I couldn't be mad. Erin was so sweet and offered a half-price manicure. David called me and explained things. Margie called me that evening apologizing again for the mix-up. They couldn't have been kinder. I have an appointment for next Wednesday. It's just hair, and I only drove a few minutes down the street from the office to the salon; had I come from home, it would have been an hour's drive round trip.
The office I was working from at UPenn is sending my leather jacket to me via fed-ex. At least I didn't leave it in the sandwich shop when I went to lunch, it would have ben gone forever.
I had good company on the train with my work pal.
When I was looking for a working ATM, a kind woman from the cafeteria overheard that I was going to walk to another building to find an ATM. She told me there was a closer one just across the pedestrian bridge..She didn't have to do that, she could have ignored me. Thank you....Another person actually walked me to the ATM to show me where it was when I asked. He didn't have to do that......... Thank you.....
I keep a change jug at home. For about 3 weeks, I have been meaning to put all of the loose change I have been lugging around into that jug. I thought about it last night and again this morning. Thanks goodness I didn't.....had I done that, I would have been making another trip to the ATM insead of paying the balance of the fed-ex charge in quarters, dimes, nickles, and pennies.........
My grandsons (and new granddaughter) will get their Easter goodies on time.............
Last, but certainly not least (nor a little thing)................this is Easter Weekend. The weather is going to be glorious, and the hope and promise of this celebration is eternal.
I feel my frustrations fading........I am thankful for the little things.
