Goodbye Buddy

I think if you asked any person on the street the question "What constitutes a happy life?" They would probably answer with a combination of things like money, a nice house, good kids, having a good marriage etc. I think that if you asked the question "Do you think that loving, being loved, and feeling loved is the most important thing in life to make us happy?" that the overwhelming answer would be yes......If that is the case, I can say that Ed had a happy life. It's ironic that just 2 weeks ago I posted about my Ed and how he had surgery to remove a growth under his eyelid. He was the picture of health. He was the picture of health Sunday night. Monday morning, however, Ed was acutely ill. It all happened so quickly. His big sweet heart just developed a problem that couldn't be fixed. As the day progressed and the hopes of restoring Ed to his former healthy self became less and less possible, I had to face the reality that Eddie would be leaving us and I had to make "The Decision". Would I take heroic measures that would probably not extend his life to a great extent, or would I let him go peacefully and painlessly? Hoping I had made the right decision, I chose the latter. I held his head in my lap has he took his last breath. I wanted to be there with him and let him know that he didn't have to be afraid and that someone who loved him was there at the end.

Ed was a devoted friend. He loved hugs around his big hairy neck. He loved the snow. He loved to eat. (Isn't if funny, I love those things too!) He loved to be brushed and scratched on the behind. He was afraid of thunderstorms and tried to hide under things that were too small for his great big body. Just last week I heaved him up on my bed during the middle of the night so I could put my arm around him and assure him that the thunder was not going to hurt him. He stayed until it was all over and then jumped down to do his job of protecting the household. (Even though he was always a big chicken!) He loved children and especially liked them when they were eye level, or licking level to him. He loved to go for rides and was first to the door when asked if he wanted to go. When he was young he could do this amazing vertical leap over couches and chairs and he loved to play "footsie", putting his feet on top of yours and then you putting yours on top of his, and then his on top of yours at a frantic pace until he would get so excited he would take off and "do a lap" around the house. He probably was the most gentle dog I have ever owned (and I have owned a few). We had a Yorkshire Terrier at one time and that little stinker would grab onto the hair of Eddie's neck and just hang there growling and shaking his head. Ed would look at me with this pleading look as if to say "Can you get this off, please?" He usually didn't get into the trash, but sometimes he couldn't resist if it was something he thought would be good. The funny thing was that he didn't hide the fact that he was getting into the trash. He would pick up whatever treasure it was and carry it tentatively into the room where the family was doing what families do and look around like, "Is it OK if I have this?". I'll never forget him carrying in a great big watermelon rind. It looked like he was carrying a giant smile. It was almost as funny as the time he got the trash lid caught around his neck and he raced to the bathroom to hide. He was sheepishly looking at us like "I really don't know how this got caught on my neck.......really"

There are many who say "It's a dog for cryin out loud." I would venture to say that they have never had the distinct pleasure of owning and loving a dog. I know that there are real tragedies in the world. I know that there are vitally important things to do for the safety and well-being of mankind. I know there are things that are much more important than a dog. However, Ed loved me unconditionally; that meant a lot to me. He never expected more than a pat on the head and a bowl of food in the mornings. I hope I did the right thing for him. Eddie was faithful and true and lived to the measure of his creation.......I should be so lucky as to have someone say that about me at the end of my days.

I hope you are doing vertical leaps on the other side Ed.........I am going to miss you, buddy.

Quick, can you teach me Chinese?

I love my job. I really do. Really......... However, sometimes, when people make decisions that affect me, I just cringe. Sometimes I get that deer in the headlights look, or the who? me? look.

I am supposed to go to China and Taiwan in the next couple of months. I am looking forward to the experience. I have always loved to travel, although when I travel for work, I tend to just work, work, work, sleep, work some more and then go home. The good thing about these trips was the fact that I was taking a colleague of Chinese descent. I was very happy that she was going so she could give me the ins and outs of communicating and maybe show me a few interesting spots, not to mention, I don't speak Chinese......at all.....ever......never.

I found out today that she will probably not be allowed to go due to the fact that it may not be critical for her to go and budgets are tight (not unusual in these fuel expensive days). It was said that I knew my job quite well and there was every confidence that I would do just fine by myself.

Am I being a baby, or is it OK for me to feel like.... BY MYSELF!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING!!!???? NOOOOOOO!!!

Here I am, this giant Caucasian woman going where I can't read the road signs. Who knows where I could end up? No one will be there to tell me what to eat.....or, more importantly, what not to eat. No one to tell me "Please shut-up you have offended everyone in the entire room." and then apologize for my ignorance. No one to take pictures with me in them. (I went to Paris and only got a couple of pictures with me in them, I found an American couple to help me out.) And how do I figure the money? Will I pay $3,000 for a taxi on my American Express and not know until I come home? I don't think the company will reimburse for stupidity.

The biggest problem here is that my company has confidence in me.........ME.........I have faked everybody out. I just know all of the abilities they think I have are really non-existent. I am a phoney, a fake, a fraud!! They are going to ask that 15 years of salary be returned due to my total lack of knowledge. I don't have it.

I guess I will have to have my affairs in order before I go........I may disappear and never resurface......Maybe Chad Lewis is free??? (If I have to explain that one, never mind)

No More Death Breath!

This is my dog Ed. I love Ed. As you can see, he is pretty good size. His top weight was around 135 pounds, but he is down to about 109 now. Ed will be 11 years old this year. I took Ed to the vet last week because he had a tumor on his eye. Well, it was under his eyelid, but it began to grow out. The vet said it had to come out, so on Friday he went to have surgery. The vet said he would clean his teeth too. I had wanted to get that done for a long time cause Ed has Death Breath. I mean when he pants, he could clear a room. I just thought that dogs had nasty breath because they sometimes ate nasty things. Just so you know, dogs can have Death Breath because they have a bad tooth. (WARNING! WARNING! GROSS STUFF AHEAD!)My poor Ed had a hole in the gum by his back molar that had become necrotic and filled with.........well, suffice it to say it was bad. The roots of his tooth were exposed and he had a pus pocket along his jowl. (I am sure this was the source of the said Death Breath)The vet took pictures and showed them to me. (Those of you that know me will know that I found that cool. Somebody has to like doing this kind of stuff, or we would all walk around with yucky things on us and our pets!) Anyway, the eye is fixed, the teeth are fixed, and Ed is like new. No more pushing him away when he looks up at me with those big brown eyes and then belches. Thats a sign of love from a dog you know! The vet said he had the blood work of a 2 year old, which makes me happy. I hope Eddie is around for a while to come. Just don't ask me what all this cost...I still wince a little. But look at my big baby! It was worth it.

What's In A Name?

I need some stress relief. I have had way to much to do lately. For some reason, coming here and doing a post takes my mind off of the things I should be doing. I am not sure if that is good or not. Probably not, since it is taking me away from the things I should be doing. Procrastination is one of my strong points......I need to talk about that another day.

Anyway, I was reading over my posts, and I saw that I use the word 'moron' a lot. That is not particularly nice. Although, if the shoe fits..........Well, I decided that I should be nicer; but then I got to thinking about the word moron. If my memory is correct, words like moron, idiot,and imbecile were once psychiatric terms that described an IQ level or a level of mental disability. If you were a moron, you were mildly disabled, if you were an imbecile, you took it up a notch, and if you were an idiot, you were profoundly disabled. So, really if I call you a moron, I am only saying you are mildly stupid! It's not like I am calling you an idiot! If you look these words up in the dictionary, it says they don't use them clinically anymore because they are considered an insult these days.

So, if it was around 1900 and I called you a moron it would be a medical term. Can you just imagine?..................."Mr. Jones, I have to advise you that after our testing, we have found that you are a moron, which is not as bad as an imbecile and far better than an idiot! So cheer up and have a wonderful day!"

Did you know that "numbskull" is in the dictionary? You can spell it "numbskull" or "numskull". I would have to say that "numbskull" is more appropriate. You know, indicating that your head is numb and all. The definition is.....n. a stupid person. Couldn't that also be an adjective? Let's see, person place or thing as a noun....Descriptor as an adjective..."He is a numbskull!" I am trying to bring up my sentence diagramming skills from elementary school.....You know, they don't do that any more. I always liked diagramming sentences, it was fun.

Going on with the name thing, if I were stupid, and I looked it up in the dictionary to find out what it meant, would I understand it? And did you know that 'stupidness' is a word??!! It is right in the dictionary and is a noun. So now I can say "His stupidness was unbelievable!" and be right!

But I digress. The whole point was I am going to try to be nicer. I don't ever call people names to their face because it isn't nice. So I will try not to do it in my mind or on my posts....How does 'dumb' strike you?

Out Of Control

That's my youngest daughter's latest catch phrase. Everything and everybody that she finds annoying or unbelievable is "out of control!" That includes me, of course, I am often 'out of control' in her eyes. However, I must say that the stories she has brought home from her job of about 9 months definitely fit the description. She is in retail. We all know that working with the public puts you in contact with some mighty strange characters. I won't mention the store, I don't need any lawsuits, but she works in one of those stores that sells "pretty stuff" that women like to buy. Here I now give you my first list of "you gotta be kidding me!" stories. I am sure that more will come in the future; stupid and annoying and nervy people are never in short supply.

#5.) A woman comes in to return a fitted sheet. No receipt, no tag to even prove it came from the store, just a torn sheet and bringing her mother along with her.

Customer:I bought this sheet a year ago, and it has a rip. I don't understand why it would rip after only a year!

Customer's mother: I have sheets that are 35 years old and they haven't ripped!

Lindsey, staring blankly, "Let me call the manager." (Translation :"I can't handle this.")

Manager: I am sorry but you can't return the sheet after a year with no receipt. We don't even know if it came from this store (I am sure she wanted to add 'you moron you' at the end of that sentence)

The argument goes on for 20 minutes. The mother is appalled that a sheet would rip after only one year after HER sheets have lasted 35 years. I have some old stuff in my house, and probably some sheets that are 30 years old, but I don't think I would bring that up. It just kind of grosses me out. The store won on this one, no return allowed.

#4.) The police are called to the shopping center because a young woman has had her car stolen. Police arrive, start writing a stolen car report and the girl spots her car. OOPS!, Sorry officer, I just forgot where I parked my car..............That girl has a drivers license??

#3.) Woman comes in to return a very expensive bedset ($400 expensive enough for you?)

Customer: "I want to return this, it's faded. I took it to the dry cleaners, but it still faded."

(You know those little material balls that appear on your pillow? They were all over these pillows)

Lindsey: "Do you have a receipt?"

Customer "Oh yes, I just want to pick out a whole new set to replace this one!"

About an HOUR later the woman appears at the check-out with her new expensive bedset. The exchange rate was not exactly equal so she kept asking 'How much do I have left?' and then she would run off to get this or that doo dad to make up the difference. All free of course, because she just wanted an even exchange, you know. (Blink, Blink go my innocent eyes)

Now for the receipt................It's dated September 2004. She has had this bed set for 10 months!! But of course, that is not all. On the same receipt is the evidence of another return. Seems that last September she returned a very expensive bedset that she had had for almost a year and made an even exchange for the bedset she is now returning 10 months later. What kind of racket is that? She has figured a way to redecorate her bedroom every year without spending a dime. "Gee, and if I can find a good one on sale, I can get some doo dads to go with it!" Now that is nerve. BTW, she was able to do this without any questions.

#2.) OK, the theme seems to center around what some people have the nerve to return. Here's one for you. Customer comes in and wants to return a foot spa. You know, you fill it up with water and then it does wonderful things for your feet? Now correct me if I am wrong, but I don't usually buy anything if a box is open unless I really want it and it's the last one. However, I surely will look through the box if it is damaged or opened to make sure everything is there. I make the assumption that this box was intact when the customer bought it. So, a foot spa, the customer believes that it has been used and it is missing a piece or two. Customer wants a direct exchange.......no problem, the store is there to please their customers. Customer brings new product to checkout, this receipt is only about a week old, cashier (Lindsey) opens the returned foot spa in front of the customer. The box is wet.....the plastic wrapped around the spa is wet......the spa is wet........Cashier and customer make eye contact.........customer has a poker face.......Cashier sighs, puts the wet spa back into the box and says "You're good to go..." you moron you....Now I say to you, was this a cruel joke at the foot spa factory where Joe and Buddy decide it would be hilarious if they got everything wet before they packaged this foot spa? No, wait, wouldn't be able to enjoy that in person...AT LEAST DRY IT OFF BEFORE YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO RETURN IT!

#1.) Not all people are clever enough, like those above, to think of ideas on how to steal without admitting they are actually stealing. Some people are quite direct about what they believe they should have for free. Take this case that I place at #1....Very large man comes into the store early one morning. Early is good, before everyone is alert enough to do much more than stare at your audaciousness (sp? or is that a word?) Anyway, he is large enough to be intimidating to the women that run a "pretty stuff" store. Walks directly to one of the most expensive items in the store, a Dyson vacuum cleaner (I love mine!) picks it up and heads toward the checkout. The cashier, (not Lindsey) says: "I can take you right here." He says, "Oh, right here?" and points to the counter, but continues to walk directly out of the store to a waiting jeep that sits in front of the store where his lovely accomplice waits. He loads the vacuum into the Jeep, gets behind the wheel of the car, and drives off, extending his arm out of the window and giving the middle finger salute to all in the store. What more can I add to that? Everyone just kind of looked at each other. They didn't even call the police, what's the point?

But......I have a bonus one here. Lindsey's personal favorite, and mine too, I must say.

Woman buys a candy bar. Leaves the store. Comes back later with half a candy bar. "I don't like this candy bar. I want to return it and get my money back." You'll be happy to know that that one didn't get a refund.

Compassion Is My Life

I am a nurse. I love nursing; although I don't do it full time. My full time work is in clinical research at a (gasp! choke!) pharmaceutical company. Yes, I belong to the evil empire, the "big drug company" as the media like to descibe us. It's much easier to hate something that doesn't have an identity you know. Maybe I will post on that another time, but for now, it is my other job on which I will go into a diatribe.

So what is nursing all about? Some still like to think of us as those young women in white, including the cap, that float tirelessly from patient to patient giving back rubs and tending their wounds until they are well.................well......no, it's not. First of all, the average age these days is 45. Unless you want dogs that kill you, a back that feels like it is breaking, and people that feel that you are there to wait on them hand and foot, nursing is not a career path for you. OK that is a bit harsh, but I just finished a 16 hour shift.....Secondly, the nursing cap has gone the way of the buggy whip. With so many men in the field these days, they would look a little funny with the cap anyway.
Most nurses are sleep deprived, (shift work will do that to you) not sure what day it is, (shift work will do that to you), can eat any type of food at any time of day (shift work will do that to you), and can be distracted trying to remember if everything was done before they left their shift. Did I mention the shift work? It isn't uncommon to get a call or make a call to the nurse that just relieved you or you just relieved telling them something that was important, or making sure something was done that you were pretty sure you did but can't remember.

There are rewards. The money can be good, but if you are getting into the field for the money.....please don't. Patients like to talk to us. They tell us things they won't tell the doctor. We want to listen, but one of our biggest complaints is that we don't always have the time to do that. When someone goes home better than when they came in, that makes us happy, especially if we helped that through the long nights. When someone doesn't make it, we are there to cry with those who are left. We encourage all kinds of bodily functions and noises that would be rude outside the walls of the unit. Some times we even clap and cheer for those functions and noises. Some really funny things happen, some really gross things happen, (just a hint...always wear gloves before you plunge your hand under a patient) some really sad things happen. We get to peek into the lives of others and enrich ourselves along the way. Do I get tired of telling the same gentleman to please put down his gown, his privates aren't going to go anywhere? Sometimes. Do I get tired of the 25th request for ice while I am running down the hall to someone that can't get their breath? Sometimes. Do I get tired of the "I pay your salary, you need to come when I call!" Definitely. I don't do it full time...bless those that do. It's now Friday again, my job for the week is over...I have a double shift tomorrow. I'm pretty sure some more stuff will happen during that time

Some of My Favorite Movie Lines

Just for fun....Here are some of my favorite movie lines. Can you name the movie, characters, and/or situation surrounding the line? (This should be a cake walk for you movie guys! Most are too famous to get wrong, but the key is they are some of my favorites.) One is actually from a television show. Can you name it?

In no particular order:

"What we have heah (here) is failure to communicate."

"Arugala, it's a veg-i-ta-ble!"

"He did not choose wisely."

"We're gonna need a bigger boat."

"You can't handle the truth!!"

"Dying' ain't much of a livin', boy."

"The yoots? What is a yoot?"

"Badges?We don't need no stinkin' badges!"

"Hello, My name is Talking Tina, and I am going to kill you"

"The shoes, right? The shoes are tragic."

"This was no boating accident!"

"I have green sandwiches and brown sandwiches.....It's either very new cheese or very old meat."

"I have one word for you... 'Plastics!'"