Saturday, September 25, 2010

Cool or Clod?

Since I have been writing this blog, I have become more and more unsettling to myself.  There was a time when I would have described me as: professional, unaffected by  pressure, determined, focused, and might I even add, a little cool.

I am now beginning to think, however, that it might be difficult for me to go through an entire day without drooling all over myself.  Professional has gone to lack of control, pressure keeps me in bed too late cause I don't want to face the day, determined has gone to I don't give a crap, what used to be focus is now the attention span of a 2 year old, and my cool factor has gone to clod factor.....

Two weeks ago, out on a call, I went to my car to get supplies to dress a wound.  It was 4 in the morning and I tossed my keys in the trunk as I was rummaging around, thinking that I needed to move a few things out when I had time....as I slammed my trunk, I immediately knew that my keys were still on the inside.   It wouldn't have been so bad if my car had been unlocked, I could of just popped the trunk from the inside, but I had locked my car on the way in to see my patient.  I almost NEVER lock my car....of COURSE I am going to do it when I leave the keys in the trunk.  This was the 3rd time since May that I have had to call my husband out of bed to come rescue me from my own stupid self.  He is such a patient man.....I can take credit for that.......I have tried him over and over again, and he just keeps coming back for more. I am not sure what the attraction is, but I am glad it works for him.  I don't even cook, for cryin out loud....All he said was "You know, you shouldn't put your keys in the trunk like that, it's very easy to lock them in there if you do."  Am I that oblivious to the obvious that he needs to tell me that???  Geez....One of the times he came to rescue me I thought I had locked my keys in the car.  I couldn't find them anywhere, it was dark, I couldn't see into the car, I had emptied out my bag and had come up with nothing.  When he came and unlocked the car, (hmmmm maybe I DO lock it more than I thought)...the keys were not on the inside either.  Another dumping of the bag found the keys buried in a crevice under my blood pressure cuff.  Sorry about that....but it was only a little after 11:00 that time.

As I look over my blogs, I see that I am grouchy, over-extended, rude, self-centered, vain, critical, insensitive......anyone want to stop me here?  Oh well..... and I'm not too bright either...as you will see in the following example.

I started bowling again recently after several years away and my right hand and ring finger have been stiff and sore.  I thought that it would work itself out, but last night, I decided that I would use some "herbal muscle massage" that contains capsaicin and menthol; kind of a potent Ben Gay, if you will. Capsaicin, as you will remember, is what makes chili peppers hot.  It burns, people.  However, I can eat very hot things, and believe me, if my insides can take it, why not my tough old hands?  So after the first application, I decided that the heat from the capsaicin and the cool from the menthol was not quite enough, so I applied a second coating.  I used it like a hand cream rather than a targeted topical medication to the areas that were painful.....Yeah, I know that wasn't too smart now.  Here's the weird thing though, it really didn't bother me until this morning when I was slathering body lotion on my legs and arms (I really need to drink more water to keep my skin in better condition, but I hate water)....I don't know if this act triggered an exothermic event, but my hands started to feel like they were on fire.  Now remember, this was the morning AFTER.... I took a shower, I had washed my hands a couple of times already...and then I rubbed my face....I was immediately blinded by pain and I couldn't open my right eye.....What the heck was going on here?  Well the eye got better after flushing, but my hands felt like they were being cooked from the inside out! For 2 hours, I had to keep running to the sink to wash my hands and run them under cold water for relief, and my right hand and finger are still stiff and sore!  Upon further investigation, (oh yeah, I don't follow directions very well either) you must, apparently, apply the capsaicin up to 4 times a day over a period of 1-3 weeks to get relief of stiff joints.....I think I'll pass for now....

I have decided that the only cool thing about me these days is my rosemary mint shampoo.....

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