Monday, November 14, 2005

Are We There Yet? Shanghai Dairies Continued

Do you know how long an 11-hour flight is? Do you know that you can’t sleep for 11 hours on an airplane……(with 50 strangers, mostly men, side by side, etc…) no matter how tired you are? Do you know that you have no choice but to use the airplane bathroom? (Because the flight is 11 hours, but you are on the plane at least 12, not to mention the time waiting before getting on.) Did you know that no matter how nice the meals are (again very nice 3-course and breakfast too) you are just really annoyed at having to be in a space that is just not big enough? I have been on long flights overseas before, but this one just really never seemed to end. I ate, I slept, I watched a movie, and there was 9 hours left. I walked, I read, I watched another movie, and there was 7 1/2 hours left. The video screen was pretty cool; they had a map that showed the course the plan was on. I learned some geography. I watched it intermittently over the whole flight. We flew between 37000 feet and the highest was 39500 feet at one point. It gave air speed and tail wind and all kind of interesting things……Can you tell how bored I was? So I watched another movie, walked some more, (had to keep the blood flowing, don’t want a stroke.) and slept a little bit and there was still 4 hours to go. I was so excited when breakfast was ready to be served….I knew the time to land would be soon.

You know when you fly British Airways, even though we speak the same basic language, we still have a hard time understanding each other. I had to repeat myself every time the flight attendant asked me a question. I also wasn’t sure exactly what I was being asked at times. For breakfast they wanted to know if I wanted muesli or pancakes. I thought they said something that sounded more like mucous, but remembered it was a type of oatmeal or something, but because I wasn’t totally sure, and it sounded too much like something gross, I said pancakes, at least I knew what I might expect. Good choice. They were really like crepes with sweet apples in the middle. Yummy!

Landing! Landing! I can’t believe we are landing! I was so happy to be getting to where I was going. However, an announcement before we land. “We will be coming through the cabin spraying insecticide, this should not be bothersome. If you wear contacts or glasses, you may want to cover your eyes as we pass.” What????? This should not be bothersome???? You are going to spray poison in closed quarters and please, I shouldn’t worry about it? What is the Chinese government afraid we are going to bring in? Bol Weevils??? And they DID spray. She held 2 canisters above her head and walked through the plane all the way down one side and up the other! The she stopped to talk to someone while standing there spraying for at least 30 seconds. Another passenger finally said something and she moved on. I guess I am not too concerned about me, but if I were part of that flight crew that had to inhale insecticide every time I took that flight, I might have a problem. Man! I just realized…….it is now Tuesday morning 9:30 am. I left my house at 7 p.m. Sunday night.
My Chinese colleague that I was meeting had told me that November would be a good time to go to Shanghai because it would not be the horrible summer heat and humidity. Anyone who knows me knows that when it comes to heat and especially humidity, I am a great big baby. I don’t like it hot, and I really don’t like it humid. Sweat rolling down my back, soaking my hair, melting my face, and making me look like a giant brick of butter left out at a summer barbeque is not my idea of pleasant. So I expected it to be at least neutral. Well, there wasn’t a breath of air in this stark, bare cavernous airport. We walked a half-mile to get to the lines to check passports. (After we handed our official declaration of health to the official collecting them. Evidently, you have to say you are in good health when you arrive, or describe your symptoms if you are not. They just sprayed me with poison…..how could I know how I was now?) I picked one line and then changed to a shorter one. You know what that means don’t you? There is always a reason that a line is short when all others around it are long. The 2 persons checking passports were quite thorough. Each check took at least 2 minutes. I stood in line watching the digital clock tick off minute after minute feeling water roll down my back and feeling my face turn into a Picasso. No siree! No one was getting into this country without a thorough check at this line. In the meantime, 2 more flights have arrived and are now in lines that are passing me, but I refuse to budge. No changing midstream. I stood there from 1025 until 1105. There was now one person ahead of me. He was a kindly looking gent from the UK. A door opened to the far left and on the other side of the booths and out came the change of shift for the passport desks, or at least back-ups. They must have been on break. That one gentleman from the UK?….….Between me and my bags and freedom?……He had no visa. No visa!! What were you thinking? He kept saying “I didn’t’ t think I needed a visa!” One man…..between me…..and……my……ride …..to …..the …..hotel. I felt a little vein pop in my head.

I'm gonna make it just wait and see............

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