Walk a mile in my shoes....

I came upstairs with my arms full and said to my companion "I picked up 7 pairs of shoes by the front door!". He said to me, "Yea, well did you go into the family room yet?" Hmmmm...Did I mention all 7 pairs of shoes were mine? They usually don't get far from the front door cause they are the first things that come off when I walk in at night.

You are talking to a woman who used to have 2 pairs of shoes..... 2 pairs of $5.00 shoes. Shoes to go outside in and shoes to go to work in. I had to take care of them and know where I put them casue there were no substitutes. I can remember going through the house saying "Do you know where my shoes are??" Hmmmm.....I may still do that....

I wouldn't buy shoes that were not cheap, and I must admit, my poor dogs paid the price.

Just a little side question before I go on...Is it 2 pairs of shoes or 2 pair of shoes (or 2 pairs of shoe) ??

Back in our poor days, living on military pay and my outstanding $2.00 an hour pay,

(Yes. I said $2.00 an hour...and I ran the office, took DICTATION, TYPED on a TYPEWRITER without the glorious disappearing backspace or spell check, kept the books, and everything else that needed to be done WITHOUT the help of anything digital, computerized, or instant, I even balanced the bosses checkbook! He used to say "If you get it within a $100.00, I'm happy." Do you have any idea what $100.00 was to me in 1973?? I was afraid to be out by 5 cents cause I could take it down to the penny some weeks. OK, off track....)

I would buy nothing but the bare necessities. I knew the difference between a need and a want. I needed some things, I wanted a lot of things; I didn't get my wants, and my needs were barely met, but I was happy! No one else I knew had anything either, and there was far less to covet then than there is now. So shoes were a necessity, but a lot of shoes were not a necessity. Like I said, 1 pair for outside and 1 pair for work, and barefoot the rest of the time. It was hot in Florida, I didn't need shoes unless I was going to be where the critters would bite me.

It took me 20 years to realize that I could have more shoes and they didn't have to be $5.00 shoes. When I was in my forties, I finally decided to have ingrown toenails removed on both my big toes. For years I suffered with shoes that hurt my feet and toes that were so tender, I couldn't bear to touch them. Then one day I realized I could get that fixed. Why didn't I realize it before?? Who knows, I just thought having ingrown toenails removed was a want and not a need. So for the first time, I didn't have pain in my toes when I walked, and now I could buy some shoes.

It started out innocently enough. I bought a black pair of shoes, cause black shoes are sensible and go with everything. Then a pair of beige shoes, cause in the summer beige shoes are better than black shoes..... Guess what, the world did not come to a screeching halt because I spent some money on myself. I was a little intoxicated with the fact that no one told me I was a bad mother or wife because I was wearing TWO DIFFERENT pairs (of pair) of shoes in one week. Then, like most things that feel nice and start out innocently, it became a bit obsessive. To buy or not to buy? Know what BOGO is? Oh yeah, buy one get one half price......So I will get 2 pair. I mean I'm saving money right??? Well if I buy 2, why not 4?? That's like getting a free pair of shoes! That means that 6 pair must be even better!!

Slings and heels, pumps and peek-a-boo toes, flip flops, sandals, sneakers, flats, stuff to match clothes, stuff to match purses, summer colors, winter colors. Now what I used to not even see when I went into a store seemed to jump out at me and say "Take me home, you know you love me!"

What happened, however, was that my feet still hurt. I began to believe that it didn't matter what type of shoe I wore, it hurt me. I would always buy wide shoes.....And then one day it dawned on me, I saw it, I looked at my feet........I had odd feet, REALLY odd feet. Now while I could always find what I thought was comfortable in a wide shoe, I noticed that my feet were freakishly wide, really wide, like, people I got man feet. EWWWWW how wide are these dogs for crying out loud???

Never fear! In the day of instant information, I found a place.......a heavenly place......a place for shoes that go to 4E width. I bought a pair of winter boots that, oooolala, look good on me and do not make me walk like a cripple at the end of the day. Red pumps....Oh, how I love my red shoes! I only wear them with certain things, but people notice my red shoes. Shooties that look like snake skin...yummy looking with those spike heels! And, guess what? I actually went down a half size, because now, my big fat wide feet spread across instead of lengthwise. The price? Well let's just say that when you have wide feet (or narrow feet for that matter.....my mother-in-law wore a 12 AA, she understood the meaning of special shoes) that you need to pay a special price. $5.00 dollars has turned into $50.00 minimum on up to....well, you can pay a lot for good quality shoes. I try to wait for the clearance sales. If you were to look in my closet, you would see that I really am not as bad as some women; for me, it seems excessive, to others I may be just a beginner, I won't go over that bridge to the sex-in-the-city-girl expensive shoes, I have not evolved that far, I have grandchildren you know....But I don't want anyone questioning my grandmotherly skills because I like to wear sexy shoes. (And good shoes, not sensible shoes BTW, can make you feel sexy, you know.)

So, I went into the family room....6 more pairs of shoes.... dining room, 1 more pair....living room.....Ah! Shoe-free zone!...... and as I sit here at my desk, I count 3 more pair under it. Well, at least I won't be asking where my shoes are....I may ask where my blue flip-flops that match my new shirt are...but I can always substitute.

Turkey Necks...

So, I was sitting at lunch with my friends today, all of us about the same age, and we were talking about turkey necks....You know, that neck thing you get when you get older, and the one thing they can't seem to fix with plastic surgery. You know, your neck is a little saggy, a little wrinkled, looks like a.....well, it looks like a turkey neck. The comments were around why can't we do something for it?? You know, we could make a lot of money if we could figure a way to fix it.

Then one of my friends said something like this.."I hate that no one says 'you don't look your age' anymore, or 'Gee, you CAN'T have kids that age' or 'You look good for your age'. She followed with something like this.. "I hate that I want to do so much and I feel that I don't have the time anymore. I can see my limited time left just ticking down." It stopped me right in my tracks.....

First of all, my friend looks great "for her age"!! I think she is attractive. She has a quick mind and a great sense of humor. She is a great conversationalist, and fun to be around; but as we continued the conversation, I was dismayed that she and my other mature friend thought that they were invisible to the world, that they are not noticed because they are older and perceived to be uninteresting. Well that may be true in the world's eye, but....

I couldn't disagree more.

I gotta say the most interesting people I know are in my age range. That's not to say that younger people are not interesting, they are, but in a different way. I find them to be interesting because they are finding their way, sorting through decisions of life, parenthood, relationships, and work. I like their perspectives and I like hearing their hopes and how they deal with the bumps in their life. Happily, I find that they are, in many cases, better equipped than I ever was when I was a young wife and mother.

I like to, and I do, surround myself with people of all ages. I especially love children because they see heart to heart rather than face to face. If I want an honest opinion, I ask a child. They will always tell me the truth. Case in point, my grandson Luke, told his mother the following:

Luke: "Mommy, I'm all done being patient"

Jessica: "What are you talking about, Luke."

Luke: "I'm talking about being all done being patient with all your yucky dinners."

Refreshing, isn't it? Let me just say that Jessica does not make yucky dinners, but if she did, I would remain patient. I can remember when my children were young they used to look into my face and say "Mommy, you look like a movie star." Then half hour later, "I can't see around you mommy, your bottom is too big." It's all about balance, I guess.

But for sheer breadth of life experience, I find those that are my age and older bring a perspective to conversation that I enjoy. Sometimes words are not even necessary, a look will tell a story. We don't rely on our physical prowess or our good looks to try and impress, (yeah, I know, because it doesn't work anymore) but NOW, we can say something with confidence, and people will believe us, even if it is a crock. Our sense of humor is a little more twisted, and even if our shoulders are a little more bent, they hold sorrows much better. We have been seasoned with the salt of life and infused with the flavorful juices of experience. Some of us have turned out yucky, to use my grandsons word, but more have turned out delightfully delicious.

But I still want to do something about my turkey neck.

The whole world at my fingertips!

I have a new phone. I finally got an iPhone. I have been wanting one since my youngest showed me hers. I have been playing with this phone for the last 2 days, and I can't seem to put it down.

Not so unusual you say? Well, considering I used to leave my phone sitting around until it was dead, not knowing where it was, and looking frantically for it when I was about to go on call, I would say that this is a change. Before I took the jump to the iPhone, I had begun using my Blackberry more, and getting to be lighting fast with a text message. I carried it around on my hip like a sheriff carries his .44. I am officially the geek of which I used to make fun.

I could never understand why people walked around with their eyes down into their palms, missing out on what was going on around them and laughing to themselves like they were part of some cosmic joke. Heaven help me I caught myself doing it!!!

I will say this; I am not too comfortable being this involved with my phone. When I do look up, I see that I have missed some things. I am almost always working from a list of things to do. My list has dust on it and my personal projects and work projects have been laying idle. My new ideas are sitting in my brain veiled behind new apps that I just have to have. But really, isn't this supposed to help us work smarter, not harder?? I do love some of the applications that make life easier, but do I REALLY need mobile Facebook?? (I have it) Do I REALLY need my email to my phone?? (I have it) Do I REALLY need Skype? (Oh yes, have it)

Need to get back to my garden, my interface with real people, and my never ending What Next? list. BTW, my what next includes a new foundation and nurse networking group for community health. Been trying to work on that for 3 years now, just need to put it together. So hopefully, this new iphone will support those things rather than keep me drooling into the virtual keyboard.

With every new technology comes potential for greater good or greater slavery to the tool.

Hey, I just found an app on how to hypnotize, oooo.....there's a whole category on medicine, and look at this! A productivity category........Oops, a little bit of drool goin on.....!