Midnight in Walmart

I was coming home from admitting a patient downstate on the 31st of August. The next day was Grandson #3's first birthday party. I was going to make a casserole for the party, but had not been to the store to get anything. Plus, I had not gotten a gift for Grandson #3 yet. The only store open at 11:30 pm is the Walmart in Elkton, Maryland. For those of you unfamiliar with Elkton, Maryland, let me just say that in the Northeast's coastline sprawl down the Atlantic, it is where the South begins. It is the oddest phenomenon.............20 minutes from my house, people begin to drawl and say ya'll. I am not opposed to that; my roots are buried deep in the South and in the mountains of the Ozarks; it's just weird, that's all. (It IS below the Mason-Dixon Line). I won't try and be funny here with all of the stereotypical fodder that comes from being Southern, but the picture you get in your mind is not far from what is there. (Stereotypes come from SOMEWHERE, you know!) Anyway, I go about my business getting what I need and then procede to the checkout line...............At first, I calmly wait behind about 6 other people, and as I wait, I see the line behind me getting longer and longer and the line in front of me not moving. There really are a considerable amount of people in the Walmart at midnight. Having worked a lot of shift work, it doesn't seem too unusual to me; however, what is unusual is that the line is not moving. I finally rouse myself from the "standing in a line stupor" and look at the registers. No clerks are checking anyone out. They are standing around with their arms crossed, walking around, talking to each other, generally not doing what cashiers do.........................which is to take our money and move the line out the door. People in the line are beginning to become a little more noisy wondering what in the heck is going on. Just before I thought a riot was going to break out among the line standees, a woman that seemingly was in charge (if you can call anyone in Walmart at midnight in charge) got on a microphone and stated the following: "The cash registers are down. They go down every night at midnight. If you would like to avoid the problems of waiting, you should consider shopping at some other time!" Did she just say that? Whatever happened to "Ladies and gentlemen, we are sorry for the inconvenience, but the cash registers go down for accounting purposes at midnight, we should be up and running shortly. Thank you for your patience!"

Great customer service Lady!! I'll be sure to rush right back to your store in the future. I just love how important we are to retailers and how polite their employees can be. Or are you so grouchy from working the overnight shift that this is as nice as you can get? That's OK, Igot a present for Grandson #3....Unfortunately, his mom had already gotten the same thing.


PS I started this post back in August. I finished the last couple of lines today (only 5 months later)

View From the Parking Lot

I went to the Phillies - Mets game last night. Got to sing the National Anthem on the field with my singing group. This is the 7th time I have gotten to do that over about as many years. For the longest time we only got to go to Phillies - Expos games because our group was willing and able to sing the Canadian National Anthem as well as the US Anthem. Those were not my favorite games. Now that the Expos are now the Washington Nationals, we get other games to see. Last night it was the Phillies - Mets. I was soooooo happy. We have such a rivalry with the Mets and we get a lot of Mets fans that come to the game, so it makes for a good night. The night was beautiful. My grandson Nathan was being an angel and was loving the game. The game tied in the 8th inning and the 9th inning went scoreless for New York. EXTRA INNINGS!!! YEAH.

Now, I had brought my grandson to the game, but my son-in-law was going to take him home. He decided that he needed to leave at the beginning of the 10th inning, but didn't have a carseat and wanted to get the carseat from my car. First of all, I didn't know where my car was parked because I actually drove to the game with another person in their car, and Wayne had driven himself, Nathan, and his sister to the game. My dear husband said we should leave so we could accomodate the carseat request. But I don't WANT to leave!!! I want to see what happens. Granted, you don't know how long a baseball game will last in extra innings.........but I want to stay!! Trying to be an adult, I agreed to go. As we leave the stadium it is clear that my son-in-law and my husband are parked about 20,000 cars apart. Why can't we just take Nathan home ourselves, I ask. Good idea...............(Darn, should have thought of that inside)............now if Wayne can only remember where he parked the car we can see if we can get the game on the radio. I have been hearing behind us a continuous roar of the crowd..................something is going on.....but what!!

Me: "What letter was the parking lot?"

Him: "I don't know, we parked by the statue of the football player."

Me: "Where's the football player?"

Him: "I don't know, it's dark, I can't see."

Note to self......................It may be daylight when you park, but it is definitely dark when you come out, it's better to remember what the lot letter is.................

Me: "What was the orientation of the ball park when you got out of the car?"

Him: He looks around at the ballpark and then takes off in another direction. Nathan in arms.

Me: I follow with my sister-in-law.................amidst growing cheers from the stadium behind me.

All of a sudden, the ballpark erupts in what I know is something huge and game-ending. My sister-in-law calls my mother-in-law to see what happened because my mother-in-law always watches the games.

Sarah: "Mom, what just happened?"

Mom: "What do you mean what just happened? Aren't you there?" (I feel a stabbing pain in my chest)

Sarah: "Yeah, but we left before it was over"

Mom: "Ryan Howard hit a 2 run walk-off home run." (The stabbing pain just went to my head.)

Then we got stuck in night construction traffic on I-95.

I am better today. The most important thing was that the Phillies won and that guy wearing the Mets shirt in the section next to me went home with a stabbing pain in his head.

One Ringy Dingy.....

What’s your ring like? You know, your cell phone ring. I have decided that cell phone rings are intimately related to our personalities. I know, I can hear you………….NO DUH!! I just never really thought about it before. I have heard so many types of rings……..at airports, in meetings, (please mute your phone does not apply to these people), on the street, in the restaurant, in the store, etc. etc. We just can’t seem to get along without our cell phone. Mine always gets a laugh the first time someone hears it. I wonder if that was my motive or whether it made me laugh when I heard it and then I just had to have it……….Patience, I will tell you what it is in a minute. Now it makes me jump every time my phone rings. I have heard Classical music rings (nice), music box rings (nice), rap music rings (not nice) specific rings for specific people (very clever, but it would require that I find out how to do it, or download it, or something else I don’t wish to put forth the effort to do at this time), regular telephone rings (not imaginative, but at least you know it is the phone. How many times have I heard a ring and thought, “What the heck IS that?”), beeps, whistles, buzzes, animal sounds, movie lines, television theme songs, famous people…………….there all out there ready to be downloaded and annoying at any time. One guy I know has chickens as his ringtone….what does that mean?

I can live without my cell phone. My kids will tell you that I almost never answer it and that it’s dead a lot of the time. (Mainly I don’t answer because I can’t find the darn thing in the abyss of my pocketbook until after it goes to voicemail). My feeling is that my cell phone is for my convenience, not yours. Cell phones are ridiculously expensive and I hate all of the cell phone companies. They charge too much for features no one uses and don’t really need (if I really want to be close to the internet at all times why can’t I have a chip and monitor implanted into my arm?) and their contracts are prison sentences for your wallet. Not only that, but I remember the days when you had to yell into the phone to be heard long distance on a land line; I thought we were long over the days of having to yell “You’re breaking up again, I can’t understand you…Hello?……….Hello?” Not to mention, when I travel for business, the best thing about traveling is that no one from the office can reach me because I am traveling. I don’t get these guys walking down the jetway with their bluetooth on (Man! That’s another post) sitting in their seat talking (so everyone can hear, I might add) until the flight attendant threatens expulsion from the plane, and then firing it up again the minute the wheels touch terra firma. How important do you think you are, anyway? My cell phone goes to voicemail “Sorry I am unavailable at this time, please leave a message”. I may listen to them at some point.

The ones that really get me though are the guys in Walmart during the middle of the day in their overalls (seriously) with their bluetooth on like they are expecting a call from Wall Street. Or the person that I know does not work, does not want to work, nor ever intends to work going everywhere with the bluetooth attached to the ear. (I know, you don't have to work to need a cell phone or a bluetooth, but really, how long are you away from your phone? Do you really need a bluetooth?)
Would y’all just STOP it!! It looks ridiculous. Of course, now I have to say that I have a bluetooth that I wear when I am on call and driving, but I am immediately admonished if I don’t take it off when I enter my home.
BUT, I digress. I was talking about ring tones. So what’s your ring tone? Mine is the Tarzan yell,…………how annoying is that?!!

Did anyone miss me?

A year? It's been a year since I posted? What? No one noticed? No one has notified me demanding that I entertain with my wit and charm? I'm really hurt.

I have added 2 new grandsons to the family in the last year. Well, actually, I didn't add anyone; my daughter and my daughter-in-law really did all the work. Kevin James Donaldson will be 1 year old on the 30th of August, and Ronin Wayne Ennis entered my son's household on May 7th, of this year.

Let's see, oh yes, I had a little thing happen last week. I work for a hospice organization on a part-time basis. No, it is not depressing, I actually enjoy the families and feel like I help them. On this occasion last week, however, I found myself in an awkward situation. I arrived at a patient's home to administer a pain medication at about 1:30 in the morning. (Don't ask why, it doesn't matter) There was an LPN at the patient's home who was supposed to be caring for the patient (no, she could not administer this medication, that's why I was there.) She was asleep on the couch. Not a big deal, that can happen on occasion, but I was going to have to wake her up and make sure she was doing what she was supposed to be doing. After taking care of the patient, I gently shook the sleeping nurse on the couch. No response except for a snore. I shook her again......................no response. Well, let's try shaking a little harder, she must really sleep deeply. Took hold of both shoulders and shook......................no response. Shook much harder and yelled her name.................now her head was lobbing back and forth................Oh My! Her eyes were rolled up in the back of her head. Kept shaking her and calling her name.....................OK, slap her face several times..................no response................Slap, shake, yell, give a sternal rub..................no response............. Spit on her lips, skin a little gray,.....................what the heck is going on, she is snoring.................she has a pulse........................What is that piece of plastic sticking out between her lips?????????????? Did she choke on something???????? Is her airway a bit obstructed????????????Pulled the piece of plastic out of her mouth.............what in the world is this????????You're kidding, right?????? The printing on the plastic indicates that it is the remnant of a 25mcg fentanyl patch.

For those of you not familiar with fentanyl, it is a pain reliever, is used in anesthesia, and is about 80 times more potent than morphine. It has been popularized around these parts by addicts who die after injecting fentanyl laced herion. It is bad stuff used inappropriately, and can be lethal, especially for those people who wish to get high by letting the patch dispense its properties through the soft tissue of your mouth. No choice here, I have to call 911. So I knocked on the bedroom door of the patients' spouse and said "I need to borrow your phone, I have to call 911 for the nurse." Talk about your awkward moment.

The nurse? You're calling 911 for the nurse?

Yes ma'm, the nurse is not waking up, but don't worry, she has a pulse and is breathing. (However, she has OD'd on your couch)

Hello 911? Yes, I have a non-responsive patient here that needs to go to the hospital. Yes, she is breathing, yes, she has a pulse, no I don't know anything about her. I took a fentanyl patch out of her mouth, yes, you heard me correctly................Yes, I said MOUTH.

Paramedics arrive, get her on a stretcher, start an IV, put on a rebreather mask, administer narcan......that will wake her up. Sure enough, she begins to stir, and as the reality of what has transpired begins to sink in I can see the fear/confusion/terror in her eyes. Whereas I was concerned for her well-being prior, I am now immediately struck by how sorry I feel for her. I almost wish I could have saved her from what will surely become a nightmare in the next few days. She will most likely lose her license, and she will have to face her addiction (I won't go into why I know this was not an accident, but it wasn't. Of course, accidentally putting a fentanyl patch is your mouth is pretty far-fetched.)

So, I am back on the blog trail. Just think about how many stories you missed while I was away!! Maybe I can update the look of the site in the next couple of weeks.