Yeah, you are right!

My daughters said "Mom!!" An 'ageless wild horse'??? What the hell does that mean???

 Hmmmmm.... when I said it out loud, I actually snort laughed again.  That does sound pretty stupid.  I was waxing poetic, I guess, and it didn't quite work. Especially since I am not anything close to a poet.  If you look at the post again, you will see that I did a strikethrough.  My point was, I don't feel old on the inside, I only look old on the outside.

Thanks girls for helping me keep it real, your mother can be pretty simple at times...but I guess I don't have to tell you that.

You Gotta Biga Facea

So, I am OK with getting older…..really I am. My essence, or spirit as I would believe, has no age. Inside this body that is no longer firm, elastic, or attractive to the common passerby, is an ageless wild horse…..(No, not an old gray mare, I SAID a wild horse.....) Thankfully no one is going to shoot me if I go lame. (At least no one under our current healthcare structure…)

But did I really have to buy that magnifying mirror at Costco?? It’s freaking big and magnifies 8 times the normal size. Did I really want to see every flaw in this face? My pores look like soup bowls, my skin has 23 different colors, my eyelids look like plastic bags that have carried around one too many apples, my nose is in the way of everything, and my crow’s feet look more like ostrich claws.

Well, of course the answer to that question is no, in fact, I got it for another gross reason. I got it cause I have to tweeze these stupid hairs off my chin….and neck….and jawline….I am thinking laser removal, but I have heard it doesn’t work on my type of non-pigmented hair….that’s gray hair for all of you that need a better description.

I don’t know, I spent a lot of years being overweight….. I couldn't get rid of the baby fat…..I mean my youngest is ONLY 23 years old. But now that I am down to an almost normal weight, I don’t have anything to go with it, except an old face…..8 times bigger than I imagined.

Is it too late to have everything lifted, trimmed, sucked, nipped, lowered, raised, plumped, botoxed, contoured, and bronzed to a healthy glow, or will I get more mileage out of the cool granny look? Maybe I should go for the mature and wise woman image, but I snort when I think of that. Snort laughing is not conducive to the mature and wise woman image. I am more the “Let’s go karaoke sober and see how many drunks we can convince that I am REALLY Dolly Parton’s cousin!” Snort….Snort… (No, it doesn’t take much to amuse me)

But if I did get everything “reconditioned”, what good would that do? Who’s gonna see it but me? Better yet, who’s gonna be INTERESTED in seeing it but me? Yes, I am married, but let’s just say that I could come home in a clown suit with my head shaved and the only reaction I would get would be “Anything interesting happen today?”

So, I’ll keep the mirror, soup bowl pores and all….at least I won’t have whiskers…..